Musings of a Servant of Allah
Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)Archive for Trials and tribulations
Almost there…
Alhamdulilah, only a few more days left til I fly to Jordan 
Hasn’t quite hit me yet, and it probably won’t, not until I’m on the plane with my brother! Please pray that we’ll arrive safely, and return safely too, God willing. Packing up and leaving everyone and everything I know is exciting, especially after such turmoil over the past few years of my life. A fresh start, in the company of those loved by Allah. I can’t ask for more, alhamdulilah. Part of me misses med school (crazy, I know lol) but the rest of me knows that this break is for the best.
My trials remain, as always. Despite the obvious pain, my hardships are a means to reaching Allah, and I’m learning to be optimistic and think the best of my Lord, and my circumstances. Like Sheikh Nuh said to us in the Sydney Suhba, out of all the infinite possibilities for our lives, Allah has chosen the absolute best for us, in His Divine Wisdom.
You are exactly where you need to be. It’s up to you to use this moment to draw closer to God, or stray away. So whether it be the loss of a loved one, your health, your wealth – whatever it may be – it happened because God willed it, and He loves you, and He wants you to return to Him. It’s the nature of the human being to forget….the root word for the arabic word for human (insaan) is naasiya, which means ‘to forget’. So these blows of fate, no matter how painful, are gentle reminders that God is the one in control, and that He is the only one whom we can seek solace from. What a lonely existence it is, without Him. So ask Him! He loves to be asked. Another beautiful gem Sheikh Nuh gave us at the Sydney Suhba was this: each time the tongue of the servant utters a prayer for something, know that Allah wants to give it to him.
If there’s one thing that can fill your heart with distraction and empty it from any longing for God, it’s music! So check this link out, and download that mp3 file.
Here’s an interesting article:
Getting Rid of the Need for Approval
Posted by Abu Ulfah in Guidance, Priorities, Reflection, The Self on 03 15th, 2009 | no responses
Bismillāh ar-Rahmān ar-Rahīm
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
On getting rid of the need to look to creation for approval
Strive to purify your heart from the fear of creation and from putting your hopes in them, for this would make you remain silent when faced with falsehood, compromise your Dīn and neglect exhorting to good and forbidding evil, this would be humilation enough, for a mu’min is strong by his Lord, he has no fear and no hope except in Him.
When one of your brother Muslims offers you something by way of showing affection, take it if you need it, thank Allāh for He is the real giver and thank the one whom Allāh has chosen to deliver it to you. If you do not need it, see whether it would be better for your heart to take it or refuse it, if you refuse, do it tactfully so as not to hurt the heart of the giver, for the feelings of a Muslim have great rank with Allāh.
Beware of refusing for the sake of acquiring a reputation, or of accepting for your lust, however, to take for lust is better than to turn down to acquire a reputation of ascetism and of turning away from dunyā. The truthful and sincere will not be confused by this, his Lord gives him a light in his heart by which he knows what is required of him.
Imām ‘Abdallāh Ibn ‘Alawī al-Haddād
Risālah Ādāb Sulūk al-Murīd
http://www.spiritual-tendencies.com/2009/0…d-for-approval/
On Sacrifice
Assalamualaikum world!
Ok so I’m back, after far too long
Thought I’d muse on something close to everyone’s heart. At some stage in anyone’s life, we’re faced with challenges.
We will surely test you in your wealth and in yourselves and you will hear many hurtful things from those who were given the book before you and from those who associate others with Allah. If you are steadfast and beware of Allah, that is the strongest position.
Aal ‘Imraan: 186
Amongst the hardest tests, I’ve found, involve giving up something you love for the sake of Allah. Something which you know, deep down, isn’t good for you in this life and the next.
Our vices may be different, but they all have the same effect – they harden our hearts, and bring us further away from Allah, our Merciful Creator.
As hard as it is to make that sacrifice, make dua and ask Allah to give you that courage to step up, and make that clean break. It’ll hurt at first, but after hardship, there is relief. And even if you fall again, get up and ask Allah for strength, guidance and forgiveness. His Mercy is greater than our mistakes.
Sacred Law was taught to us to increase good, and to decrease harm. Allah knows how fallible we are, so in His Mercy, He has sent down Prophets and Revelation, to help us reach Him. Think of our end goal – Jannah – where we can find lasting peace and His eternal pleasure. Make every day a concerted effort to get on step closer to Him.
Look at the small blessings we have everyday, to spur you into higher levels of worship. A roof over your head. Family and friends. The freedom to go to work and school. A wide selection of food to choose from. The luxury of holidays. SubhanAllah, so many of us are blessed, and all of this originate from Allah, Most Generous.
May Allah make it easy for you when you give something up for His sake. Know that He will reward you with something far, far greater.
:)
Salams world!
So…I’m back. Alhamdulilah. Lots has happened, subhanAllah. Life is an ongoing journey…with ups and downs. What matters is dealing with it with as much optimism and trust in Allah as possible.
The Sydney suhba 2008 was incredible. It was such a blessing to be able to sit in the presence of Shaykh Nuh, and later on, his wife Umm Sahl. Alhamdulilah, they’ll be coming every year now, instead of every two years! We’re so blessed. InshaAllah next year Umm al-Khayr and Sheikh Ashraf will come too.
Gratitude marks my path to the Divine. Knowing that everything I am afflicted with is not ‘by accident’, but through the loving kindness of Allah, because He knows what will bring me closer to Him. He is what I regard Him to be, and in my time of need, He is my Compassionate, Merciful and Generous Lord, who hears my call. Sheikh Nuh’s advice to me is to remain optimistic. Hope is always so very important when faced with the trials of this world.
I’ve reached a crossroads in my life now. What keeps me focused and grounded is the remembrance that Allah Most High, in his Perfection, knows me better than any other, and has placed me exactly where He wants me to be. It’s up to me to reflect upon my situation, and reap the fruits of it.
There is good in everything Allah tests us with. May Allah grant us all patience, steadfastness, and acceptance of His Decree.
On the Harvard suhba…
Shadhili tariqa: the path to the divine
Do check out the very interesting audio selection on the left hand side. A very soothing reminder, especially in times of difficulty.
The entire selection is here: Harvard suhba.
I particularly like how Shaykh Nuh reminds us all about that eternal truth – everything perishes except for Allah. Where will we be, 50 million years from now? All gone. But Allah remains – and all deeds that done for His sake.
May Allah accept our good deeds.
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A few of my close friends from med school are back from overseas…can’t wait to catch up! Lots has happened. Alhamdulilah, I’ve been blessed with a few good friends, and I can’t wait to sit down and catch up over coffee or dinner. I’ll miss not being in their cohort, with my whole deferral and all…but all things happen for a reason. Allah is the best of planners.
I used to honestly believe in this quote “I am the Master of my fate and the Captain of my soul”…but that’s not the truth of the matter. Allah is the master of every atom in this universe. That’s a huge blow to the ego, but also a relief – realising that no matter how well-intentioned and perfectly executed a plan is – if Allah decides it not to be, it will not, and if He decides it is to be, then it will. Allah is the one in charge. And alhamdulilah for that, because we’re human, necessarily imperfect, and Allah runs the universe to perfection. We’re just too limited to see it, at a macro level. He does not wish bad upon His creation, and loves us more than we love ourselves.
Surrendering to the decree of Allah can be difficult for control freaks e.g. myself. Just…let…go…
On hardship
…so it’s been a while since I’ve last updated. Lots has happened. Without giving too much away, there is much going on behind the scenes. Alhamdulilah for everything.
Faith makes suffering, sufferable. This world is filled with shades of darkness and light. Absolutes are hard to find. Thinking in black and white leads to unnecessary strife. There are the major truths which I cling on to, and I ask those who know better when I’m stuck. Allah knows best.
Where do I begin?
So much has happened over the last few years of my life, and is the case with every other human being on this planet….my trials are ongoing. Allah is the only reason why I’ve come this far. Intact. Allah is the only reason for everything, really. Such is the perennial problem of humanity. When things are peachy, we forget Him. When things are hard, we fall on our knees and beseech His help.
There is sweetness in hardship, though. That’s when one’s prayer is sweetest, Quran recitation has more soul, and we truly feel broken as we prostrate before Him. And only He can heal. That’s always the case, of course, but realising our daily indebtness to the Almighty, both in times of ease and hardship, is an tremendous gift from Him.
There are among men some who serve God, as it were, on the verge: If good befalls them, they are, therewith, well content; but if a trial comes to them, they turn on their faces: They lose both this world and the Hereafter: That is loss for all to see! (Quran 22:11)
People of faith are a 3D construct in this 2D world. We look beyond the horizon of the everyday, especially when struck down by hardship, and remember that there is a power greater than us. Events like grief, loss, sickness and poverty are a lot more bearable when we know that at the end of the day, God will take care of it.
Alhamdulilah, in Islam, sickness of any kind (physical, psychological, spiritual) is a cleansing of sin. That’s good news, because expiation of sin in this life is a lot better than in the next!
May Allah grant us all healing, and ease our trials.
Goodbye
Today marks my last day at hospital for this year.
I’m sad. Relieved. Happy. Nervous. Excited.
Everyone’s been great. Bittersweet farewell.
C told me the sweetest thing today. “You’re one of the nicest people I’ve met. A flower, amidst the ivory. We can learn a lot from you.”
Hence begins my first day of leave from studies. The faculty has been incredibly supportive. A few of my friends are shocked, largely because I’m good at pretending everything’s normal lol. I’ll miss them.
On exhaustion
I am so tired.
You know that bone-deep, weary feeling? The oh-so-exhausted-no-matter-what-I-do? Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.
Regardless! Life goes on. Must pick self up. My next practical exam is on the 20th and 21st of November.
Goals:
1) REST. Veg out at least for one whole day a week.
2) Sleep 8 hrs every night.
3) Exercise every day, even if it’s just a 15 minute walk.
4) Do things that bring me joy e.g. playing with my cats in the backyard.
5) Eat well. When I feel like this, I forget to eat.
6) Connect with friends.
7) Keep my family in the loop.
Overall goal – be kind to myself. Been through so much, more than most people know, and I deserve some slack
On suffering
Faith makes suffering, sufferable.
Hardship is part of the human condition. We all face trials. Custom made to test us the very limit. Some of us are tested in our health, wealth, loved ones…the the list goes on.
Night and day. Sunshine and rain.
Life is cyclical. Whether we like it or not, the ebb and flow of life will continue til the day we draw our last breath.
The key to staying afloat? Acceptance. Submit to the Divine Decree. Be proactive, do your part, and leave the rest to God.
A wise young woman told me this yesterday: “You’re going through hardship because you need to. Allah is preparing you for something better.”
Consider our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He lost his parents and grandfather at a young age, lost his uncle, his wife, his sons, his friends…and each loss caused him immense pain. Yet he recovered, grew from each experience, and never once stopped thanking Allah for the blessings he did have.
So if you’ve hit a brick wall, take heart. This too, shall pass.
“Renunciation of the world is followed by peace; its desire brings sorrow. Restrain your desires, discipline your self, and do not allow anyone to oppress your soul.” (Rabi’a, Rabi’a the Mystic)
