Musings of a Servant of Allah
Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)Archive for Gratitude
On Jordan
SubhanAllah. I don’t ever want to leave Kharabsheh. What a blessed neighbourhood! I live directly opposite the zawiya and am therefore neighbours with Sheikh Nuh, and I have never, ever been happier in life. Even the dust on my shoes has barakah (blessings), because this is the land upon which Prophets walked, and that in itself is healing.
The peace in this place is impossible to put into words. Every day, we wake up to the adhan for tahajjud. I never thought I’d ever be this blessed. Alhamdulilah. My days are filled with studying Arabic, Shafi’i fiqh, Hadith, Seerah….going to zawiya for Hizb Al-Bahr and Latifiyyas, visiting Um Sahl for her women’s lessons…subhanAllah. I couldn’t ask for more.
As much as I miss my family and friends back in Sydney…this is the place where I want to be. May Allah bring those who seek Him into the safety of Kharabsheh, inshaAllah.
On Sacrifice
Assalamualaikum world!
Ok so I’m back, after far too long 
Thought I’d muse on something close to everyone’s heart. At some stage in anyone’s life, we’re faced with challenges.
We will surely test you in your wealth and in yourselves and you will hear many hurtful things from those who were given the book before you and from those who associate others with Allah. If you are steadfast and beware of Allah, that is the strongest position.
Aal ‘Imraan: 186
Amongst the hardest tests, I’ve found, involve giving up something you love for the sake of Allah. Something which you know, deep down, isn’t good for you in this life and the next.
Our vices may be different, but they all have the same effect – they harden our hearts, and bring us further away from Allah, our Merciful Creator.
As hard as it is to make that sacrifice, make dua and ask Allah to give you that courage to step up, and make that clean break. It’ll hurt at first, but after hardship, there is relief. And even if you fall again, get up and ask Allah for strength, guidance and forgiveness. His Mercy is greater than our mistakes.
Sacred Law was taught to us to increase good, and to decrease harm. Allah knows how fallible we are, so in His Mercy, He has sent down Prophets and Revelation, to help us reach Him. Think of our end goal – Jannah – where we can find lasting peace and His eternal pleasure. Make every day a concerted effort to get on step closer to Him.
Look at the small blessings we have everyday, to spur you into higher levels of worship. A roof over your head. Family and friends. The freedom to go to work and school. A wide selection of food to choose from. The luxury of holidays. SubhanAllah, so many of us are blessed, and all of this originate from Allah, Most Generous.
May Allah make it easy for you when you give something up for His sake. Know that He will reward you with something far, far greater.
Shaykh Abu’l-Hasan said this to Ibn ‘Ata’ Allah, in response to the younger man’s various worries and sadnesses:
There are four states of the servant, not five: blessings, trials, obedience, and disobedience. If you are blessed, then what God requires of you is thankfulness. If you are tried, then what God requires of you is patience. If you are obedient, then what God requires of you is the witnessing of His blessings upon you. If you are disobedient, then what God requires of you is asking forgiveness.
Ibid., p.196, read in The Key to Salvation: A Sufi Manual of Invocation
:)
Salams world!
So…I’m back. Alhamdulilah. Lots has happened, subhanAllah. Life is an ongoing journey…with ups and downs. What matters is dealing with it with as much optimism and trust in Allah as possible.
The Sydney suhba 2008 was incredible. It was such a blessing to be able to sit in the presence of Shaykh Nuh, and later on, his wife Umm Sahl. Alhamdulilah, they’ll be coming every year now, instead of every two years! We’re so blessed. InshaAllah next year Umm al-Khayr and Sheikh Ashraf will come too.
Gratitude marks my path to the Divine. Knowing that everything I am afflicted with is not ‘by accident’, but through the loving kindness of Allah, because He knows what will bring me closer to Him. He is what I regard Him to be, and in my time of need, He is my Compassionate, Merciful and Generous Lord, who hears my call. Sheikh Nuh’s advice to me is to remain optimistic. Hope is always so very important when faced with the trials of this world.
I’ve reached a crossroads in my life now. What keeps me focused and grounded is the remembrance that Allah Most High, in his Perfection, knows me better than any other, and has placed me exactly where He wants me to be. It’s up to me to reflect upon my situation, and reap the fruits of it.
There is good in everything Allah tests us with. May Allah grant us all patience, steadfastness, and acceptance of His Decree.
Hm
Yay!
Got my job training day coming up soon…can’t wait for the $ to come rolling in, inshaAllah…lots to save, and spend on (lol).
I’m really enjoying this break from uni, alhamdulilah. It came at the best time. Sigh. Half the time I don’t know what to do with myself….but that’s okay too!
Rediscovering the joy of writing is always a good thing to do I love writing. Love love love. Nothing like it, really.
Inspiration
When I grow up, I want to be an oncologist.
Today was, by far, the best day I’ve had at hospital. Although a large part of it involved chasing up a doctor who wasn’t returning my page/calls etc….things worked themselves out, and I spent an inspiring hour or so chatting to a patient up on the medical oncology ward. It was such a privilege, listening to this man’s incredible journey through battling with cancer. He’s on his second round of chemotherapy, and I was so moved by his strength and optimism.
I told him how I would love to specialise in oncology, and he was so supportive. He said something along the lines of “I’m sure you’ll be very good at it. Imagine the comfort you’ll bring to so many patients.” Aw!
Moments like these remind me why I signed up to this degree to begin with, and I’m so grateful. Patients teach me so much. His wife dropped in towards the end of our conversation and was so touched by my presence….she insisted that I stay with him and take a thorough medical history! I already had, and would have loved to stay and chat more, but I had a dinner appointment with a good friend (*wave!*) and didn’t want to be later than I already was.
I was so moved by his honesty. He said that he felt that his world had ended when he got the results of his biopsy. The words ‘cancer’, ‘chemotherapy’ and ‘radiotherapy’ carried such negative connotations, but the multidisciplinary cancer care team was absolutely pivotal in helping him and his family move forward. They described the team as being fantastic, efficient, caring, supportive…I feel so proud to belong to such a great team of health care professionals Alhamdulilah.
They asked me to pop by and visit while he’s still having chemotherapy over the next few days. Again, that was so touching. I’ll make the time to do that, inshaAllah.
On another note: while I was up at the front desk of the oncology ward, hovering around and waiting for a doctor/nurse to speak to and ask for good patients to take histories from….I watched one of the doctors. He sat down, and looked so distant, and so very very sad. When I whispered a very discreet “Excuse me? I’m Raidah, a medical student…”, he immediately looked up, snapped out of it, and smiled and me with surprising warmth. Who knows what thoughts went through his mind. Did he just lose a patient? A loved one? Is he going through personal problems? Incredible, how it’s easy to forget how oncologists and other health care professionals are people too. We all have our vulnerabilities.
The Alchemist
….by Paulo Coehlo, is a brilliant book! Absolutely brilliant. Go to your nearest library and read it/buy it from your nearest bookshop. Yes, it’s that good. Universal kind of read. Such a great story because it addresses a fear we all face at some stage of our lives. Fear of failure. Everyone has a dream, so to speak, and it takes courage to live that out. It’s easier to just give in, make excuses..but we’ll never truly be happy that way.
*
Sigh. Back to hospital tomorrow. I’m not ready. Am I ever ready?? Gah! Time to roll with the punches, as usual. Oncology block should be very interesting…palliative care…end-of life treatment. Should be very informative. I’m just a little tired. It’s good that Eid happened after my exams finished…it was a great way to celebrate the end of Ramadan, and such exhausting study. We still have our practical exam coming up at the end of November, but I’ll take that as it comes.
The dentistry girls have it much harder, I have to say. They have to learn med stuff plus dent stuff, plus oral surgery stuff….one of them is so positive about it, and says that it’s character-building That takes optimism. We all have our ups and downs, and draw strength from our respective traditions.
On no soul does God Place a burden greater than it can bear, it gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns. Pray: “Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden Like that which You did lay on those before us; Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector; Help us against those who stand against faith.” [Chapter 2, verse 286]
Eid Mubarak! (or Selamat Aidilfitri)
Umm Atiyah (ra) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (saw) commanded us to bring out on Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha, young women, hijab-observing adult women and the menstruating women. The menstruating women stayed out of actual Salaat but participated in good deeds and Duaa (supplication). I (Umm Atiyah) said to the Holy Prophet (saw): Oh! Messenger of Allah, one does not have an outer garment. He replied: Let her sister cover her with her garment.” (Muslim)
Eid Mubarak, dear reader! Or Selamat Aidilfitri/Hari Raya Words, once cannot encapsulate the radiant joy which this blessed day brings. May Allah protect you and your loved ones, always.
My family and I have the absolute privilege of living 10 minutes away from the masjid….so here’s a snapshot of this morning:
Ahmad: Wake up! Eid prayer starts at 6:45 am.
Me: Uuuuugh.
Household: *General commotion, sounds of last-minute ironing, showering, “Have you fed the cats??”, “Did Mak (mum) already leave for the masjid??”, all against the soothing backdrop of takbeeratul Eid wafting from the radio*
Radio: *live broadcast from the nearby masjid* Allahuakbar!
Boys: Oh no! It’s started! *Ahmad and Abdul Hadi dash off*
Muhummed: Funny how slow it takes to button your clothes when you’re late.
Me: Murphy’s Law.
Muhummed: Where are my socks? Ah. Got it. Ok let’s go.
Me and Muhummed: *Shut the door and start jogging to the masjid*.
Muhummed: So what’s the ruling on running to the masjid?
Me: Well it’s best not to, just to maintain dignity…
Muhummed: Ok. Well they’re still on the first ra’kaat, so that’s a good sign.
Both of us: *We maintain the brisk pace, the sound of the imam’s beautiful recitation grows louder as we draw closer…and the sight of worshippers overflowing from the masjid and into the street tugs unbearably at our heartstrings*
Me: *getting emotional* Ok, maybe you should say goodbye to dignity just for now so you can make it to the prayer on time!
Muhummed: Ok! Bye!
It is absolutely breathtaking, seeing rows and rows of worshippers bowing in unison.
It’s a reflection, once again, of the paradisial reality. Angels scattered throughout the heavens worship Allah throughout their lifespans, so when we mortal humans put the world behind and raise our hands in prayer, we embrace our angelic natures. By the same token, when we recklessly succumb to baser desires, we sink to the level of unthinking animals.
Eid is all about celebrating our angelic natures. For an entire month, during daylight hours, we successfully abstained from all those things which mark our creatureness – the need for food, water, and the act of procreation. By effectively suspending our creatureness, we better orient ourselves towards God, every soul’s true north.
May Allah accept our fasts and bless us with the opportunity to greet the next Ramadan.
*
And when the prayer ends, everybody gets up, and order dissolves into chaos. Ha, another reflection. The trick is to maintain that inner tranquility one feels inside prayer, outside prayer. The state of ‘eternal prostration’ which the realised Sufi attains.
The mad hunt for friends and family begins.
This is part of the fun of Eid at the masjid. Navigating through the throngs of people, prams and police officers. lol.
It’s always great, bumping into old friends from highschool, my previous university, my current university…reminds me of how connected we all really are, despite our different directions in life. We all worship the same God.
On accountability
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, for blessing me with another day of life on this Earth. May He bless me with the privilege of being one of His beloved slaves. Imagine that – Allah turning to the angels in the heavens, and telling them that He loves me. There is no greater honour. O Allah, let me be worthy of your love.
I spoke to my mother once, during one of my darker moods, and asked her this: “What’s the point anyway? Of all this? We’re all going to die anyhow.”
She smiled at me and said in her quiet, unassuming way, “Well…this is a very susah (difficult) state to get to, but the point is to want to reach Allah. And that is very beautiful.”
Yet again, she has the answer.
*
‘Rabb’ is by far one of the most poorly translated words in the Arabic language. It’s loosely translated as ‘Lord’, so ‘Rabb-el-alamin’ would mean ‘Lord of the World’….but the word has far more depth to that.
Rabb means Creator, Sustainer, one who raises us in degrees…one who is concerned for our well-being. He loves us more than we love ourselves.
Shaykh Nuh says that the one who sees reality for what it truly is, will measure his or her actions against the yardstick of eternity. Will this bring me closer to or further away from Allah?
Hence the title of this post. It’s all about accountability.
I want to live my life according to two cardinal rules:
1) Giving Allah His due
2) Giving everyone else (including myself) their due.
Easier said than done, no? Giving Allah His due means performing all my obligatory and recommended acts of worship with the intention of seeking His Countenance. Giving everyone else their due means acknowledging the rights of others upon me – including my own body parts. Muslims believe that on the Day of Judgement, our own body parts will speak against us, if we had sinned with them in this life.
It makes sense. Everything is on loan. Our bodies, souls, families, talents, wealth…..it’s all a test to see who will do good.
That which is on earth we have made but as a glittering show for the earth, in order that We may test them – as to which of them are best in conduct. [Chapter 18, verse 7]
Life, to me anyway, wouldn’t make sense any other way. Without an Afterlife and A Fair Judge…. too many souls are abandoned to the vagaries of fate. And life is cruel. There is far too much injustice and bloodshed on this Earth for this life to simply be it.
God will not wrong us in the least.
*
Shaykh Naeem has this fascinating concepts of many things in this world being reflections of the paradisial reality. How does one define reality, to begin with? Let’s check good ol’ Wikipedia:
Reality, in everyday usage, means “the state of things as they actually exist.” The term reality, in its widest sense, includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. Reality in this sense may include both being and nothingness, whereas existence is often restricted to being (compare with nature).
So Muslims believe that this life is a temporary reality, whereas the afterlife is the eternal reality. The real reality, if you may. With that in mind, Allah, in His mercy, has ‘dropped hints’, so to speak. Clues that point to our Eternal Home.
Look at the ritual of Hajj, for example. Totally strange, at surface glance. Leaving the world behind, wearing simple garments, men shave their heads, and everyone circumambulates around this big black box (Kaa’ba) in the middle of the desert.
What I didn’t realise til very recently was the fact that 70,000 angles circumambulate around an equivalent black box (Baytul Makmur), in the heavens, every day, until the Day of Judgement.
Spine-tingling, isn’t it? We were all made for eternity. This world is just a pit stop. A tantalising, alluring pit stop for some…..and absolute hell hole for others. Personally, the former is far more useful as far as saving our souls is concerned! The more attached you are to this world, the easier it is to find God irrelevant. The more hardship you face, the easier it is to fall to your knees and beseech His help.
May Allah keep us steadfast and on the straight path.
Fweeeee!!
It’s OVER!!!
Alhamdulilah and a HALF 
Onwards, to SUSHI IFTAR with the musalla gals!!!
