Musings of a Servant of Allah
Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest. (13:28)Archive for Contentment
Inspiration
When I grow up, I want to be an oncologist.
Today was, by far, the best day I’ve had at hospital. Although a large part of it involved chasing up a doctor who wasn’t returning my page/calls etc….things worked themselves out, and I spent an inspiring hour or so chatting to a patient up on the medical oncology ward. It was such a privilege, listening to this man’s incredible journey through battling with cancer. He’s on his second round of chemotherapy, and I was so moved by his strength and optimism.
I told him how I would love to specialise in oncology, and he was so supportive. He said something along the lines of “I’m sure you’ll be very good at it. Imagine the comfort you’ll bring to so many patients.” Aw!
Moments like these remind me why I signed up to this degree to begin with, and I’m so grateful. Patients teach me so much. His wife dropped in towards the end of our conversation and was so touched by my presence….she insisted that I stay with him and take a thorough medical history! I already had, and would have loved to stay and chat more, but I had a dinner appointment with a good friend (*wave!*) and didn’t want to be later than I already was.
I was so moved by his honesty. He said that he felt that his world had ended when he got the results of his biopsy. The words ‘cancer’, ‘chemotherapy’ and ‘radiotherapy’ carried such negative connotations, but the multidisciplinary cancer care team was absolutely pivotal in helping him and his family move forward. They described the team as being fantastic, efficient, caring, supportive…I feel so proud to belong to such a great team of health care professionals 
Alhamdulilah.
They asked me to pop by and visit while he’s still having chemotherapy over the next few days. Again, that was so touching. I’ll make the time to do that, inshaAllah.
On another note: while I was up at the front desk of the oncology ward, hovering around and waiting for a doctor/nurse to speak to and ask for good patients to take histories from….I watched one of the doctors. He sat down, and looked so distant, and so very very sad. When I whispered a very discreet “Excuse me? I’m Raidah, a medical student…”, he immediately looked up, snapped out of it, and smiled and me with surprising warmth. Who knows what thoughts went through his mind. Did he just lose a patient? A loved one? Is he going through personal problems? Incredible, how it’s easy to forget how oncologists and other health care professionals are people too. We all have our vulnerabilities.
Eid Mubarak! (or Selamat Aidilfitri)
Umm Atiyah (ra) reported: “The Messenger of Allah (saw) commanded us to bring out on Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha, young women, hijab-observing adult women and the menstruating women. The menstruating women stayed out of actual Salaat but participated in good deeds and Duaa (supplication). I (Umm Atiyah) said to the Holy Prophet (saw): Oh! Messenger of Allah, one does not have an outer garment. He replied: Let her sister cover her with her garment.” (Muslim)
Eid Mubarak, dear reader! Or Selamat Aidilfitri/Hari Raya Words, once cannot encapsulate the radiant joy which this blessed day brings. May Allah protect you and your loved ones, always.
My family and I have the absolute privilege of living 10 minutes away from the masjid….so here’s a snapshot of this morning:
Ahmad: Wake up! Eid prayer starts at 6:45 am.
Me: Uuuuugh.
Household: *General commotion, sounds of last-minute ironing, showering, “Have you fed the cats??”, “Did Mak (mum) already leave for the masjid??”, all against the soothing backdrop of takbeeratul Eid wafting from the radio*
Radio: *live broadcast from the nearby masjid* Allahuakbar!
Boys: Oh no! It’s started! *Ahmad and Abdul Hadi dash off*
Muhummed: Funny how slow it takes to button your clothes when you’re late.
Me: Murphy’s Law.
Muhummed: Where are my socks? Ah. Got it. Ok let’s go.
Me and Muhummed: *Shut the door and start jogging to the masjid*.
Muhummed: So what’s the ruling on running to the masjid?
Me: Well it’s best not to, just to maintain dignity…
Muhummed: Ok. Well they’re still on the first ra’kaat, so that’s a good sign.
Both of us: *We maintain the brisk pace, the sound of the imam’s beautiful recitation grows louder as we draw closer…and the sight of worshippers overflowing from the masjid and into the street tugs unbearably at our heartstrings*
Me: *getting emotional* Ok, maybe you should say goodbye to dignity just for now so you can make it to the prayer on time!
Muhummed: Ok! Bye!
It is absolutely breathtaking, seeing rows and rows of worshippers bowing in unison.
It’s a reflection, once again, of the paradisial reality. Angels scattered throughout the heavens worship Allah throughout their lifespans, so when we mortal humans put the world behind and raise our hands in prayer, we embrace our angelic natures. By the same token, when we recklessly succumb to baser desires, we sink to the level of unthinking animals.
Eid is all about celebrating our angelic natures. For an entire month, during daylight hours, we successfully abstained from all those things which mark our creatureness – the need for food, water, and the act of procreation. By effectively suspending our creatureness, we better orient ourselves towards God, every soul’s true north.
May Allah accept our fasts and bless us with the opportunity to greet the next Ramadan.
*
And when the prayer ends, everybody gets up, and order dissolves into chaos. Ha, another reflection. The trick is to maintain that inner tranquility one feels inside prayer, outside prayer. The state of ‘eternal prostration’ which the realised Sufi attains.
The mad hunt for friends and family begins.
This is part of the fun of Eid at the masjid. Navigating through the throngs of people, prams and police officers. lol.
It’s always great, bumping into old friends from highschool, my previous university, my current university…reminds me of how connected we all really are, despite our different directions in life. We all worship the same God.
On accountability
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds, for blessing me with another day of life on this Earth. May He bless me with the privilege of being one of His beloved slaves. Imagine that – Allah turning to the angels in the heavens, and telling them that He loves me. There is no greater honour. O Allah, let me be worthy of your love.
I spoke to my mother once, during one of my darker moods, and asked her this: “What’s the point anyway? Of all this? We’re all going to die anyhow.”
She smiled at me and said in her quiet, unassuming way, “Well…this is a very susah (difficult) state to get to, but the point is to want to reach Allah. And that is very beautiful.”
Yet again, she has the answer.
*
‘Rabb’ is by far one of the most poorly translated words in the Arabic language. It’s loosely translated as ‘Lord’, so ‘Rabb-el-alamin’ would mean ‘Lord of the World’….but the word has far more depth to that.
Rabb means Creator, Sustainer, one who raises us in degrees…one who is concerned for our well-being. He loves us more than we love ourselves.
Shaykh Nuh says that the one who sees reality for what it truly is, will measure his or her actions against the yardstick of eternity. Will this bring me closer to or further away from Allah?
Hence the title of this post. It’s all about accountability.
I want to live my life according to two cardinal rules:
1) Giving Allah His due
2) Giving everyone else (including myself) their due.
Easier said than done, no? Giving Allah His due means performing all my obligatory and recommended acts of worship with the intention of seeking His Countenance. Giving everyone else their due means acknowledging the rights of others upon me – including my own body parts. Muslims believe that on the Day of Judgement, our own body parts will speak against us, if we had sinned with them in this life.
It makes sense. Everything is on loan. Our bodies, souls, families, talents, wealth…..it’s all a test to see who will do good.
That which is on earth we have made but as a glittering show for the earth, in order that We may test them – as to which of them are best in conduct. [Chapter 18, verse 7]
Life, to me anyway, wouldn’t make sense any other way. Without an Afterlife and A Fair Judge…. too many souls are abandoned to the vagaries of fate. And life is cruel. There is far too much injustice and bloodshed on this Earth for this life to simply be it.
God will not wrong us in the least.
*
Shaykh Naeem has this fascinating concepts of many things in this world being reflections of the paradisial reality. How does one define reality, to begin with? Let’s check good ol’ Wikipedia:
Reality, in everyday usage, means “the state of things as they actually exist.” The term reality, in its widest sense, includes everything that is, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. Reality in this sense may include both being and nothingness, whereas existence is often restricted to being (compare with nature).
So Muslims believe that this life is a temporary reality, whereas the afterlife is the eternal reality. The real reality, if you may. With that in mind, Allah, in His mercy, has ‘dropped hints’, so to speak. Clues that point to our Eternal Home.
Look at the ritual of Hajj, for example. Totally strange, at surface glance. Leaving the world behind, wearing simple garments, men shave their heads, and everyone circumambulates around this big black box (Kaa’ba) in the middle of the desert.
What I didn’t realise til very recently was the fact that 70,000 angles circumambulate around an equivalent black box (Baytul Makmur), in the heavens, every day, until the Day of Judgement.
Spine-tingling, isn’t it? We were all made for eternity. This world is just a pit stop. A tantalising, alluring pit stop for some…..and absolute hell hole for others. Personally, the former is far more useful as far as saving our souls is concerned! The more attached you are to this world, the easier it is to find God irrelevant. The more hardship you face, the easier it is to fall to your knees and beseech His help.
May Allah keep us steadfast and on the straight path.
Fweeeee!!
It’s OVER!!!
Alhamdulilah and a HALF 
Onwards, to SUSHI IFTAR with the musalla gals!!!
How my faith sustains me through medical school
Apropos, the day before my Barrier exam.
1. Keeps me focused on the bigger picture
2. Reminds me of my accountability
3. Helps me view patients as people and creations of God
4. Prayer punctuates my day and gives it structure
5. Earnest supplication keeps my heart alive
On faith
Spirituality, in our secular day and age, has come under fire.
A very good friend and colleague of mine, Rob, is a devout Christian. He married his wife, Christina, a fellow churchgoer, and they’re amongst the sweetest people I’ve met. He told me that: “Although they say that Australia is a Christian nation….it’s still very popular. People think I’m weird for believing in God.’
Sad, but true. Yes, to each their own, but it seems like atheists are really, really pushing their views upon the rest of the world. I had a neuroanatomy tutor who did just that. We have the infamous “Letter to a Christian Nation.” We have people who claim that religion is all about violence, and the world is better off without it.
Au contraire. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Perhaps I’m biased, but I know that faith is what sustains dying patients in hospital, and faith is what helps their mourning families cope. Hospitals are places of death and dying, and this is where humanity, is in its rawest form. Strip away the distractions of everyday routine, and you’re faced with very mortal, very finite, incredibly vulnerable human beings. And in this state, people turn to God. And He listens.
Unfortunately, there are religious leaders who cause far more harm than good. This cuts across all faiths. We can name disgraced priests, imams, monks….but the point is not to give up on the concept of spirituality all because of a few bad apples.
Shaykh Nuh has been a Godsend. He’s my spiritual guide. I hope I can save up enough to do my medical elective in Jordan at the end of 2008, so I can also spend my evenings learning from him. His very presence is calming. Truly, he is beloved to God. Shaykh Abdal-Hakim Murad is another brilliant scholar. Both are so engaging, and they really speak to me in ways others cannot. And of course, my local scholar, Shaykh Naeem Abdul Wali. Hilarious, witty, and pure genius. He wrote this article Jesus and Muhammad (upon them be peace): Brothers in faith and the challenge of walking in their footsteps in a secular world. I highly recommend that you read it.
So if you’re searching for God, spirituality, faith – don’t give up. Don’t listen to the anti-religion chant that has soaked our angry, bitter world. Listen to that voice within you that is not content with material wealth and chasing this illusionary world. Listen to the stories of those who have found God, and felt inner peace ever since.
Most of all, listen to your heart, and to your soul. The less involved you are with the hallucinogens of Life, the more aware you are that there has to be a purpose to this life. I wish you the best in your journey, and hope you find the tranquility which you seek.
Alhamdulilah for…
…everything, Ya Allah. Everything.
Daily reminders are necessary. Look around you. In comparison to what Rasullulah (SAW) had, we all live in varying degrees of luxury. He slept on a “mattress made of leather stuffed with the fiber of the date-palm tree”…to the point where it left marks on him. And he was the best of mankind.
In our day of plenty, there’s really not much to complain about. It’s an effective whine when we complain at times. Like Sheikh Hamza Yusuf says…nobody likes a whiner! Not even other whiners. But of course, being human, we forget, make mistakes, get blinded by our own self-preoccupation……then we turn to Allah and realise our shortcomings. Hardship is part of life. This life is temporary, and one big fat test.
So alhamdulilah.There is so much to be thankful for.
Thank you list:
#1: Allah – Alhamdulilah for Islam! So many individuals have battled through decades of misery, soul-searching, physical and emotional pain before discovering the faith I was born into. Alhamdulilah, Alhamdulilah. It’s been effectively given to me on a silver platter, and inshallah I strive, every day, to earn that blessing, and to earn Allah’s pleasure, inshallah.
#2: Parents – They’re the best parents ever. Alhamdulilah, I’m blessed to be one of their children. My mother is such a selfless, patient, understanding woman. My father works so incredibly hard so we don’t have to worry about finances, helping us focus on being the best Muslims we can be through acts of worship and our chosen profession (“Remember, it’s your good deeds that’ll help you on the Day when nothing else can!”) May Allah grant him respite in the gardens of Paradise. There’s my mother, who’s raised six kids, without complaint, through incredible amounts of hardship, being away from her family. May Allah grant her peace in the gardens of Paradise too.
#3: Siblings – They’re incredible. I’m so proud of my siblings. They’re a crazy, hardworking, bright, funny and witty bunch with their own idiosyncrasies. Three of them are studying hard in university, and alhamdulilah, make the time to contribute to the dawah cause here. My brother made a good point about how every day, at university, is a struggle. He teaches at a high level part-time, and has to remind himself not to become arrogant because of that…..and how it’s much easier to “stay in a room all day and worship Allah” – it’s safer. Out there, you’re tested, and we’ll get rewarded for it inshallah. My youngest two siblings are still in highschool and inshallah will remain on the straight path.
#4: Friends – in their different shapes and forms, may Allah bless those sisters who have stood by me through my many trials. May Allah guide my non-Muslim friends to Islam. And may Allah bring you closer to Him, and reunite us all in Jannah
#5: Wealth – Sure, we ain’t loaded, and we live very humbly, but it’s more than enough, alhamdulilah. Plenty. So many brother and sisters live in abject poverty, when I can wake up to a steaming mug of hot chocolate. May Allah aid us in rectifying this gross imbalance.
#6: Health – Five senses are intact, alhamdulilah.
“Take benefit of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death.” – a saying of the Last Prophet, Muhummad (SAW), narrated by ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Abbas.
Our inboxes will always be overflowing with things to do. Our lives will always have some sort of hardship. Our human inadequacies – and Shaytan’s whispering – will make us doubt ourselves – our abilities, our resilience…. This is why we turn to Allah, who has power and control over all things, and relegate our worries to Him, trusting Him with the final outcome. All we can do is be proactive and do our part, and leave the rest to Allah. Alhamdulilah for Islam. The ultimate coping mechanism
May the peace and blessings of Allah be with you!
First post. Alhamdulilah!
Where do I begin?
About me: Muslimah, daughter, sister, friend. Avid reader/writer. Chocolate connoisseur. Insignificant part of the Universe, made important only through His Mercy. Medical student.
Simple pleasures: Making a steaming mug of hot chocolate (complete with melted Mars Bars chunks) with my lil sis at the end of a long, rainy day
